19 Questions With Laura McKowen

Photo courtesy of Alessandra Olanow

by The Candidly Team

This article is part of our series called "People We Like," in which we highlight interesting women, across all walks of life.

Leaders, great cooks, doctors, parents, writers; people who inspire us.

Today, we’re highlighting Laura McKowen, author, and founder of The Luckiest Club, a support community that approaches sobriety with compassion, and without judgement.

The Candidly Questionnaire

1. What’s your most compelling quality?

I keep going. I’ve got a real fighter in me.

2. What’s your worst quality, according to your friends?

I can be non-committal with plans. And maybe in general.

 

3. What’s an overrated value you don’t buy into?

Happiness. Is that a value? I don’t buy into it. Happiness comes and goes and in my experience is an outgrowth of having meaning in your life. But making meaning doesn’t always feel good—often it’s very hard.

4. How do you feel about cilantro?

I want extra.

  

5. Are essential oils anything?

I mean, I slather lavender all over my sheets every night because I love the smell and it signals to my brain that it’s time for my favorite thing: SLEEP. So, that’s something?

6. What's the most effective beauty trick you know?

Not drinking.

7. How do you get your self-esteem?

From my relationships.

8. What meal can you make the hell out of?

Pasta bolognese. I can really kill that one.

9. What’s your favorite item of clothing you own?

Vuori performance joggers, or as I now call them “soft pants.” I have every color.

10. How do you handle conflict in your closest relationships?

Not very well. I tend to rush and fix or distract people out of conflict, but I’m learning to sit with it more and allow the process to be what it is. It’s not easy for me.

11. Who is someone in your field of work that you admire?

Sue Monk Kidd. She’s an extraordinary writer, a contemplative thinker, and a true artist.

When I think about the kind of imprint I want to make as a writer, I think of her and her work. She’s not an Instagram figure, an “influencer,” or anything like that. Her work is a result of deep contemplation, dancing with mystery, and patience.

She reminds me to focus on the long game, on the deep work, not the quick hits or the shallow image-building-and-managing that can be so sexy and enticing in the moment.

12. What Insta account speaks to you deeply?

@robinnyc — she’s such a force

@morganharpernichols — beauty + grace

@africabrooke — brave truth-teller, queen of nuance

@thecandidly — seriously! So refreshing

@animals.hilarious — because animals

13. What quote or phrase has stayed with you?

“She was a voice.” It’s from The Book of Longings by Sue Monk Kidd, which is one of the best books I’ve read in the past ten years. It keeps me focused and reminds me what I’m here to try and do (and maybe more importantly, what I’m not).

14.  What’s your favorite movie from the last ten years?

The first one that comes to mind is The Big Short. I’ve watched it like six times.

15. What’s the most delicious bite of food you’ve ever had?

Shrimp Scampi in Newport, RI sometime in the early 2000’s. I will never forget that damn dish.

16. What’s the most interesting thing you’ve learned about yourself as a leader?

I have a very strong intuition when I listen to it.

17. Is social media ruining our brains?

I don’t know if it’s ruining our brains, but it’s definitely altered them in ways I don’t think we can even begin to understand. I think about it constantly.

18. Describe your actual bedtime routine.

I start thinking about going to bed around 6 (yes). Around 8, I make some kind of tea or seltzer or something to bring upstairs to the bedroom.

I change into PJs. Brush & floss my teeth. Maybe wash my face.

Smother the sheets with lavender. Get into bed.

Go pee one last time.

Put my phone on airplane mode. Listen to an audiobook or read on my Kindle.

Go pee one last time.

Read some more.

Go pee one last time.

Fill up my water glass.

Go pee one last time.

Bed (usually before 9:30).

19. What’s your relationship with bangs?

I wish I could have them. I recently watched “How To Be Single” and I was so jealous of the main character’s bangs. My hair just doesn’t go that way.

 

 

What is your single favorite:

Wellness product that *actually* works: Acure Ultra Hydrating Overnight Dream Cream.

Lip balm: Milk & Honey lip butter.

Jeans brand: J.Crew.

Mascara: Maybelline.

Sweats: Vuori joggers.

Effective “lady” product: I just use Dr. Bronners soap.

Last minute gift: A book, always!

Bra: None. But if I have to, Victoria’s Secret T-shirt bra.

Shampoo: Wella.

Comfortable shoes: Rainbow leather flip flops.

Drugstore skincare: Acure.

Everyday bag: I have a Frye Melissa Shopper that I’ve had forever and love it.

Guilty-pleasure TV show: Mom.

Drink: Cherry seltzer with tons of lime.

 

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We have to eat.