Madeleine Ryan Is Someone We Really Like
by The Candidly Team
Madeleine Ryan is the author of the upcoming book, A Room Called Earth, and an advocate for autistic women and girls.
She’s written many articles on her own autism diagnosis at age 28 and the different, often-overlooked behavioral indicators of autism in women.
Madeleine is also a huge fan of self-care, Fran Drescher, and being naked.
We like Madeleine.
So we asked her a few questions about what she thinks and feels and cares about. And her answers are truly excellent.
The Candidly Questionnaire
1. In a word, what is your most compelling quality?
Faith.
2. In a word, what is your biggest challenge?
Belonging.
3. What kitchen tool do you use every single day and kind of can’t live without?
A coffee percolator.
4. When do you feel most connected with yourself?
When I’m running outside or lying on the grass.
5. Are essential oils anything?
They are everything.
6. Do you struggle at all with boundaries? How?
Yes, because when I see ‘boundaries’ in my mind’s eye, I see walls and barriers, and they block off energy. Whereas, when I think about cultivating greater awareness and clarity, I find that I can trust myself around anyone, and that the idea of ‘boundaries’ isn't really necessary.
7. How do you dampen self-critical thoughts when they get too loud?
They won’t be dampened. Allowing them to just be there and getting on with what gives me joy is generally the best way to go.
8. Describe the most “you” outfit of all time.
Being naked.
9. What meal can you make the hell out of?
I’ve always wanted a meal that’s my ‘thing’ to make. My partner’s mother makes amazing hummus, and my mother makes epic trifles, and my dad makes cheesecake. And I make…vegan, super food balls? Super multidimensional salads? Deluxe lentil soups? I tried making biscotti one time and it was like having a side of stale, sugary bread with my morning coffee. Help.
10. What book has made the biggest impact on your life?
You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay.
11. Apart from family, what woman do you deeply admire?
Fran Drescher.
12. Why does the word “feminist” get people so wound up?
Because they want to get wound up about something and latching onto an argument about feminism seems easier than facing and discussing their actual problems.
13. Which Insta account’s stories do you always tap through until the end?
I don’t have Instagram.
14. Do you think social media’s good qualities outweigh the bad?
No.
15. What quote or phrase has really stayed with you?
If the emptiness of the page and stillness could be captured, that’d be the quote that has most stayed with me.
16. Do you have a phobia? How do you deal?
I’m terrified of people not liking me. So I try really hard to like myself, in the hope that others’ opinions won’t matter so much. I’ll let you know how that goes.
17. How do you feel about cilantro?
I’m very, very grateful to cilantro for being cilantro, and for all of its powers of detoxification. Amen.
18. Describe, in detail, your perfect bedtime routine.
In the colder months, it’s about slipping into silky pajamas, then into a warm bed (warmed by my BF’s body or, failing that, a hot water bottle). In the hotter months, it’s about slipping into bed naked. Regardless of the season, I slumber under a weighty duvet. This is a non-negotiable. I have a salt lamp and pyrite and amethyst crystals by the bed to infuse me with amazing energy and to watch over me while I sleep, and I consciously acknowledge them. Then I spray some lavender face mist over my head, neck, shoulders, and pillow, and read a bit of something mystical while I massage my boyfriend’s head.
19. What’s your favorite thing you’ve ever read on the internet?
Vincent Gallo’s website.
20. What’s your relationship with bangs?
Fraught.
What is your single favorite:
Wellness product that *actually* works: Joy, pleasure.
Lip balm: A dab of cold-pressed olive oil while I’m cooking.
Jeans: High-waisted Levis never look right, it’s a constant source of frustration.
Mascara: Whatever’s in the drawer.
Robe: A silk one or a linen one.
Sex product: Consciously breathing.
Last-minute gift: A gif.
Bra: No thank you.
Shampoo: Conditioner.
Comfortable shoes: Sneakers.
Splurge skincare: Oils, serums with vitamins, hyaluronic acid, and night-blooming cereus. Gimme, gimme.
Drugstore skincare: Aloe vera face mist.
Everyday bag: Pockets, ideally.
Podcast: Katie Hess’ The Flower Lounge.
Drink: Coffee.
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We have to eat.
