Feeling Burned Out? Try This Foolproof 3-Step Strategy
by Marissa Pomerance
There are countless articles about how everyone in the world is burned out right now.
The reasons are so abundantly clear, I don’t need to describe how working from home with few breaks and no demarcation between home life and work life and negotiating spouses and children and the constant crush of bad news for years now has forced us to live in a constant state of fight or flight and WE’RE TIRED OF IT.
And yet still, some of us see the word “burnout” and instantly recoil. Because the very idea is anathema to everything we pride ourselves on: being “tough,” being resilient, being a hard worker, being dependable always.
But burnout has very little to do with our work ethic or toughness or dependability. It can be emotional, and is often related to anxiety and depression. And it can affect more than just our work productivity.
So if you’re feeling less-than-motivated lately, struggling with being creative, or just feeling emotionally drained and exhausted, here’s a simple, 3-step strategy for combating burnout.
But first: burnout isn’t JUST feeling tired.
Before we get to the strategy, we should quickly mention what burnout is and what it isn’t—namely, being burned out is NOT the same as just being tired.
Burnout is deeper than fatigue or not getting enough sleep. “Burnout can look like a lack of interest or motivation, feeling indifferent, being unable to meet the demands of work, and withdrawal. All of these can also be symptoms of depression and anxiety, so they are highly related,” says Amy Tran, PhD Candidate in Clinical Psychology.
According to Tran, there are 3 important aspects of burnout:
Emotional exhaustion: “This can look like having trouble concentrating, becoming easily angered or irritated, getting sick often (from a rundown immune system) and feeling like you lack energy to get through your day,” she says.
Depersonalization: "This occurs when you start to resent your work and feel like you don’t care about the work anymore. You begin to withdraw and feel cynical about life and work,” explains Tran.
Reduced personal accomplishment: “Typically, people feel a sense of accomplishment or pride from their work. But when those feelings disappear, you begin to negatively evaluate yourself and your work, and believe that what you do doesn’t make a difference,” Tran suggests.
Burnout is deeply entangled with our mental health, and might manifest in aspects beyond or unrelated to our work environment, like our outlook on life, our personal relationships, and our self-esteem.
Here’s the magic strategy for preventing burnout.
The social media solution presented for preventing burnout is always the same. Rest. Another word everyone is talking about on social media.
But like…how? And when? What if we’re always tired? Do we just rest all the time and sleep through work every day? What about our job and families and responsibilities? What if we have no clue how to rest because we feel more comfortable when we’re working 16-hour days to distract us from our thoughts of impending doom?
Well what if you planned your rest with the same shrewd precision in which you plan everything else? It might seem counterintuitive to do MORE when you’re burned out, but hear me out. The 3M strategy gives us a structured way to think about our rest periods that still feels approachable and, importantly, accomplishable. It suggests we schedule 3 kinds of breaks for ourselves:
Macro breaks: Larger breaks on a less-frequent basis, like taking a half day or full day off once a month.
Micro breaks: Little breaks we take throughout the day, like a quick afternoon walk or meditation.
Meso breaks: Medium-sized breaks we take on a regular, weekly basis, like taking off work an hour or two earlier on Friday evenings, or taking off an hour in the morning once a week to go to yoga.
Decide what these breaks are, and then put them on your calendar and set a reminder. Seriously. If you just think, “I’ll go on a walk sometime today,” it’ll never happen. Make it a ritual you do every Wednesday from 2-2:15.
“It’s effective because it’s structured,” says Tran. It works well for type-A perfectionists who appreciate the structure and schedule. And it’s even helpful for those of us with anxiety because “having something planned ahead of time makes it easier to commit,” she says.
Plus, when we follow through on these breaks, not only are we resting, but it helps us feel accomplished for completing a “task” on our schedule. “It’s like scheduling rewards. These rewards can encourage us to be productive when we are working,” Tran explains.
If we feel guilty for taking breaks, we should embrace radical rest.
A potential drawback to this strategy? We feel awkward or guilty about taking breaks. Our jobs are so demanding, we can’t imagine what they’d do without us for a day. Or it feels unfair that we’re taking a long walk on a Friday evening while our spouse is helping the kids with their homework. Or we’re simply worried about our productivity if we take a day off each month.
In her upcoming book, TIRED AS F*CK: Burnout at the Hands of Diet, Self-Help, and Hustle Culture, Caroline Dooner suggests a remedy for these feelings: radical rest, which, she explains, “is to take a radical approach to dealing with our own beliefs that stop us from allowing ourselves to rest.”
“Everyone is going to have a different situation, but most people can’t just quit their job and take a month, or a year, off of work. And I couldn’t either. What we can do instead, is to take a radical approach to the way we view rest and engage with rest in our own lives, and in our own minds,” says Dooner.
Most of us can’t just stop feeling guilty overnight, so examining why we feel the way we do, and where these feelings come from is key to letting them go. Why are we resistant to rest? Why don’t we feel like we can say “no?” Why do we feel obligated to be available to everyone all the time? “What have we learned from our parents? From our culture? What fears do we have that are causing the stress and constant hyper-vigilant mental to-do list in the first place? That’s the trick: when you feel guilty, the next question is…WHY do I feel guilty? Then do some work on the answer that comes up,” Dooner suggests.
And let’s not forget: burnout is making you less motivated, which is making you less productive and more prone to procrastinating. By taking time off, you might be working an hour less each week, but if you’re happier and more energized, your time spent will be more productive, efficient, and valuable. Which is certainly nothing to feel guilty about.
But how do we “rest” if we’re workaholics?
Resting might confront more than feelings of guilt: it might confront our sense of selves, especially if we’re workaholics who hang our self-esteem and emotional fulfillment on the fact that we are “hard workers” who “never take a day off.” How do we schedule a day off EVERY MONTH without feeling like we’re just slacking off? What would we even DO on that day?
“There is nothing wrong with being ‘hard workers.’ In fact, it can be an amazing quality, and bring lots of genuine fulfillment,” says Dooner. “The question is always: how are we using this thing (workaholism, alcohol, our phones, drugs, dieting, etc…)? Are we using it as a way to avoid other parts of our lives? Are we using it to avoid feeling? Are we using it to numb and distract ourselves? Are we using it to avoid addressing things that need to be healed?” Dooner asks.
If placing all of our self-esteem or emotional fulfillment on this one trait is leading us to any form of burnout, and taking time to rest threatens our sense of self, it might be time to reconsider the value we place on our workaholism. “Once you do that, the next question can become: ok, what can I do about it? Can I carve out more time for rest? Nights off? Take some days off? Institute work boundaries? Consider changing careers?” suggests Dooner.
While there might not be a quick fix for any of this, working on our self-esteem, and looking elsewhere for emotional fulfillment (whether it’s a hobby or living in alignment with our values), might be a good first step for figuring out just HOW the hell to finally get some rest.
Marissa Pomerance is the Managing Editor of The Candidly. She’s a Los Angeles native and lover of all things food, style, beauty, and wellness. You can find more of her articles here.
