Let’s be real. Yoga is weird. I know it's incredibly trendy, and it seems like everyone is doing it but the bottom line is it's just a semi-bizarre thing to do. It feels strange moving your body in ways that seem wholly unnatural and counter-intuitive—leave “Happy Baby” to actual babies.
And then there are the people. Typically, skinny women outfitted in Lululemon, carrying brightly colored metal water bottles filled with Kangen water because regular water isn't evolved enough. And then there are the bearded men, with their calf tattoos, and their man buns, all of them also sporting Lululemon. Lululemon is making a shit-ton of money off people easily parted with their cash.
So I hear you. The ick factor is high.
Then there is the 20ish yoga teacher, with her perky Instagram celebrity glow, who speaks in a low, airy voice—the kind of voice that should only ever be used when you're waking somebody up from a deep sleep or trying to put someone in a deep sleep. They tell you things like “breathe into your ovaries,” or rotate your inner thighs out toward the wall (wut?) and then they try to pixie dust you with essential oils to help you “deepen” into your Savasana. Get back, lady. I'm just fine.
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