When’s the last time you had a fight with your spouse? Was it the time he left his wet bathing suit at the bottom of the hamper for a week? The time she forgot to mention her 3-day work trip until the day before? The seventy-sixth time he said, “ask mom,” when mini-him wanted Doritos for dinner?
You think these fights are about the fact that you didn’t use your therapist-approved “I sentences”? Hahhahaha, how bourgeois. They are actually about not being able to afford a 24/7 housekeeper. Money planning, and not having enough of it, can get in the way of closeness. Here’s some options for how to think about shared finances, and how to set up those conversations for success:
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Being forced to loosen the parenting reins has done wonders for my child.
I remember when my eldest entered high school four years ago. It was unchartered territory and I felt it was my responsibility to help him navigate everything, from his social life to his homework to the amount of time he spent on his phone. I was never a helicopter parent, but I did have a certain level of involvement in what my son did back then.
Fast forward to this year and my daughter beginning her high school journey. So much has changed in the past couple of years: I’ve separated from my husband, my son is off to college, and I’m working longer hours than ever before. Finding time to micro-manage my daughter’s life just isn’t in play, and honestly, that’s turning into a win for us both.
To sum it up: I am dropping a lot of balls.
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