Congratulations! You had a baby! You successfully grew a human for over nine months just by (basically) eating food. And it wasn’t necessarily even healthy food! Sure you ate a salad or two, but those first three months especially you ate a ton of chips, egg rolls, fried chicken and French fries. And even once you conquered the nausea and were finally able to stomach a real meal that you didn’t pick up from a drive-thru, you listened to your body and gave it what it wanted. And it may have wanted ice cream - not your fault!
Now that the baby is on the outside, you’re still eating. Because once again, you’re growing a human. This time though, it’s with your boobs. But at last you don’t have to worry! Because breastfeeding burns so many calories that the baby/burger weight from pregnancy will melt as fast as the cheese on top of it and counteract those current cupcake cravings just by feeding your kid. EXCEPT! Maybe. It. Won’t. In fact, You not only may NOT shed some of that baby weight, but as you plump up that baby, you TOO may in fact pack on a few el bees.
Yes. It’s true. Like pretty much all things in the life of a female, it’s not a guarantee that just because “they” say you’re body is going to do XYZ, that it’s foolproof. (And “they” are probably men anyway. *Eye roll*)
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