If You Ever Hear This In An Interview, Run.
by The Candidly Staff
For the most part, an interview provides a very rough estimation of two people’s skills and character, each doing their best to seem extremely compelling. Everyone in the room is working really, really hard to seem smart, kind, inspiring.
So if we know a company is putting its best foot forward, we expect they’re saying all the right things to reveal how their “culture” is what sets them apart, and how their employees are the beating heart of everything they do. But if you listen closely, truly toxic companies will reveal their worst nature even when they’re attempting to be their most positive and alluring. It’s not always obvious in the moment, but if you hear anything similar to these coded sentiments in an interview, run. Fast.
1. “I wish I could clone myself.”
This is code for:
“I will not value your opinion because I only value opinions that come from me.”
Working with a big group of strangers who have to become respectful colleagues is incredibly hard. I don’t care if you’re building a new technology, serving food in a restaurant, or launching a new lifestyle and wellness brand (cough, The Candidly, cough), it takes a huge amount of curiosity and humility to work together to make something great. And of course no one does it perfectly. But if, from jump street, you tell people that the only voice in the room that’s valuable is your own, you’re revealing your values to be garbage. So even if the company is one you’ve been excited to work for, you will not want to report to someone like this. Nothing is worth sacrificing your core self-worth.
2. “I probably shouldn’t say this, but...”
While this can feel delicious in the moment (omg, he/she likes/trusts me enough to tell me a secret!) it’s actually a sign of triangulation. And if someone is triangulating in an interview with a person they barely know, you can be sure they’re triangulating with everyone else in the company.
Triangulation is a manipulation tactic wherein someone tells you something they should be telling someone else, because it’s usually about that person. And again, while it can feel like a moment of intimacy, it’s typically a sign of narcissism. And it means that, once hired, if you’re doing something that you could otherwise correct with constructive notes, other people will hear about how much you suck, because your suckiness will be told to everyone but you.
This is one of the core breakdowns in work environments that employees would typically categorize as “toxic.” Mature, self-possessed managers speak directly to the employee, and have done the work themselves to be able to communicate helpful feedback for the employee to be able to action on. They don’t say shitty things to strangers in interviews.
3. “Everyone here wears a lot of hats.”
This doesn’t seem so bad, right? Lots to do and not enough time/money/people to do it. In fact, that describes most jobs. Most lives, really. But on top of this phrase being a dusty cliché, it’s also, potentially, a specific management style that doesn’t champion people’s individual strengths. When hiring a specialist with a true area of expertise, you want them to focus on that. Not “pitching in” across 5 other categories of the business. This concept might be inflammatory to some people. That’s ok. Hear us out.
If you hire one person to run Instagram, there’s no one else who can do it. They were hired because they know how to do it. And of course, a great manager will recognize that part of creating an inspiring space for employees is giving them windows into what they DON’T yet know, and pushing them to expand their skills. There are so many thoughtful ways to do this: invite people into meetings about totally separate things than what they usually focus on, set brainstorm sessions when you’re not in a huge time crunch. But if your social media manager’s days are half-filled doing the work of 4 other roles you haven’t hired, your social media will suffer. “Wearing a lot of hats” sounds synonymous with pitching in, when it’s really usually code for “you are interchangeable to me.” And that means your specific skills and tenacity and abilities and force in that company will not only be taken for granted, but seen as expendable.
Now, listen. Sometimes we are so seduced by an opportunity or company we will do anything, literally anything, to be a part of it.
But no matter where we end up, the unifying, basic desire we all have at work is to be seen, heard, and valued. Not in a kumbaya way. Just in a human way.
These coded messages don’t mean you necessarily have to run as the (kind of clickbaity) title suggests. They could mean that you challenge your interviewer to tell you more, or ask them to explain what they mean specifically, or even share your experience of what they’re saying. Asserting new ideas in an interview will be seen as bold and exciting to confident, emotionally-balanced managers, and they will engage your willingness to assert some agency. If they are put off by it, well, please revisit the title of this article.
