Snack.
The word itself gets you excited, no? I think we all perk up imagining grabbing exactly what we want, to eat anywhere we want. Another pleasure field, the charcuterie board or a wedding buffet. The freedom of picking and choosing exactly what I want to nosh on, with no formal dinner time rules or table manners is near orgasmic. Me, just sitting on my kitchen counter, nibbling on a few things in peace, thrills me beyond belief.
I am not alone in this.
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We’ve got a routine around here whenever someone starts to feel a cold coming on. We boil up a pot of water for our tea infused with Echinacea. We grab fistfuls of zinc lozenges, because, those are supposed to work, right? And if we have any on hand, we top it all off with a glassful of NUUN Immunity, a fizzy alka seltzer like tablet chockfull of things like turmeric, ginger, elderberry and yet more Echinacea.
I don’t know if any of this works, but we all feel like it does, so we soldier on with our approach, cold season after cold season.
We’re probably like most families when fall rolls around and the viruses start to proliferate: relying on a combination of old wives’ tales and traditions in order to fight off the germs. Many of us swear by these remedies, but which of them really holds water? Let’s break it down:
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First, we’re just going to admit that we’re also confused slash annoyed by the word “clean.”
It’s a phrase we use on occasion, always with some hesitation. Because what does it even mean? Is it an actual label that holds any significance for the food and beauty products and everything else that we touch on a daily basis?
Does “clean” mean “better?” Or does “clean” simply mean “free from toxins?” And for those of us who don’t hold a degree in chemistry, have we collectively deluded ourselves into pretending we understand what these “toxins” are and why they’re bad?
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Congratulations! You had a baby! You successfully grew a human for over nine months just by (basically) eating food. And it wasn’t necessarily even healthy food! Sure you ate a salad or two, but those first three months especially you ate a ton of chips, egg rolls, fried chicken and French fries. And even once you conquered the nausea and were finally able to stomach a real meal that you didn’t pick up from a drive-thru, you listened to your body and gave it what it wanted. And it may have wanted ice cream - not your fault!
Now that the baby is on the outside, you’re still eating. Because once again, you’re growing a human. This time though, it’s with your boobs. But at last you don’t have to worry! Because breastfeeding burns so many calories that the baby/burger weight from pregnancy will melt as fast as the cheese on top of it and counteract those current cupcake cravings just by feeding your kid. EXCEPT! Maybe. It. Won’t. In fact, You not only may NOT shed some of that baby weight, but as you plump up that baby, you TOO may in fact pack on a few el bees.
Yes. It’s true. Like pretty much all things in the life of a female, it’s not a guarantee that just because “they” say you’re body is going to do XYZ, that it’s foolproof. (And “they” are probably men anyway. *Eye roll*)
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