The Only 8 Things I Reach For In My Closet Because I Literally Hate All My Clothes Even Though I Bought Them
Why are we like this?
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by Audie Metcalf
When you look into the abyss that is your closet, do you like what you see? Or do you wear the same 2% day in day out because inevitably everything else is itchy or doesn’t go with anything or doesn’t fit or is stupid?
Of course. Because you are, like me, a woman.
We sooooort of tried to solve that dilemma HERE but honestly, I’m not entirely sure how to crack this nut. So instead of pretending I have any wisdom, I’m just revealing to you the 8 things I reach for in my closet anytime they’re clean. Because they are perfect. They are not itchy. They do fit. They go with everything. And they are not stupid.
And we even made a reels of me going through these 8 things HERE in case you’d like a little video tour.
1. The “these make me feel like I’m in a 90s psychosexual thriller” jeans
What It Is: Paige Portia High-Rise Wide-Leg Jeans*
Why I Wear It: You know how every woman in every 90s thriller was like, fixing up some old house and scraping old paint off the ancient staircase and eating Chinese food out of boxes on the floor? Well these are the jeans she wore. And recently, I realized I’ve assembled the entirety of my style based on these women—Nicole K in Malice, Melanie G in Pacific Heights, Annabella S in The Hand That Rocks The Cradle. And even if they didn’t even wear jeans, these are the casual, oops, I’ve just splattered paint all over them and oops, now they look even better, jeans that they would wear. They’re baggy but not sloppy, they feel like sweatpants so I always reach for them, and even though they’re sort of giant, they really are flattering. They are the jeans I wear over all other jeans. I even bought them in one size down to have a more “going out” version of them because I’m clearly on the verge of being unhinged. I know the price is eek, but I’m telling you, for jeans you will love and wear this much, it’s worth it.
Price: $269
2. This scoop neck 3/4 tee I’ve been crowing about since we launched in 2019
What It Is: Everlane The Luxe Rib Scoop-Neck Tee*
Why I Wear It: A typical t-shirt cuts my arm in the fattest possible place and I feel like a stuffed sausage and have never and will never wear one for the rest of my life. This lovely 3/4 length hits at juuuuust the right spot for max flatteringness (not a word) and the scoop neck just always screams chic. Oh, it’s also ribbed so it makes the boobs look amazing. It comes in many colors and I have most of them.
Price: $48
3. The cropped jean jacket you’re sick to death of me talking about
What It Is: J. Crew New Classic Denim Jacket In Bianca Wash*
Why I Wear It: But I will never stop talking about it! A cropped jacket makes our waists look tiny and our legs look long. I have 8 jean jackets in my closet currently. Yes. 8. But this is the most flattering and I wear it literally daily. Though I do love this oversized one when I’m channeling more of a Lisa Bonet vibe, though it’s often out of stock.
Price: $64.50
4. The “magic pants” I have like 17 iterations of
What It Is: Maeve The Colette Cropped Wide-Leg Pants in Magic Fabric*, Linen*, and Striped*
Why I Wear It: These are the Colettes from Anthro and they come in 10 jillion versions like long pants and skirts and pattern and solids and they just look so cute and flattering, and they are soooooooo wildly comfortable I really want every woman on earth to experience at least one pair. They have “magic fabric” around the stomach which kind of keeps things sucked in but never tight which indeed sounds magical to me. They’re also high-waisted so they just create a gorgeous proportion no matter what. This blue stripe version floods me with joy.
Price: $120 - $148
5. The linen pants that convince me that maybe I could be on the cover of vogue?
What It Is: By Anthropologie Linen Palazzo Pants*
Why I Wear It: A truly near-psychosis level wide-leg pair of pants is THE antidote to a boring wardrobe. It’s just soooooo goddamn chic, and you don’t even need to try. And I honestly do wear white pants without fear because I have a Tide pen. So get over yourself and wear white pants with me. And these pants specifically are so shockingly flattering I literally invent places to wear them. Also I have this whole color theory about white and black that will make you hate me HERE.
Sadly, these pants seem to have disappeared off the Anthro site. But we did find a similar pair we also own and are also in love with HERE.*
Price: $148
6. This viral cashmere sweater that I actually own the expensive version of but wear this one more
What It Is: Quince Mongolian Cashmere Fisherman Boxy Cropped Cardigan Sweater*
Why I Wear It: You know the expensive version. I don’t have to say it. And listen, BOTH versions pill. Cashmere pills. That’s just the long and short of it. I just use a cheap de-piller from Amazon and deal with it. But the Quince version is such a nice price that I feel I can buy many colors, give them as gifts (which I do often), and since discovering (inventing) this genius sweater-tuck, I wear this as my outer piece anytime I know I’ll be gone all day and into the eve when it can get chilly. Because a dumb, constricting jacket is my worst nightmare.
Price: $120
* Gifted product
7. This chic platform sandal that feels like a puffy, puffy cloud
What It Is: Paige Reid Sandal*
Why I Wear It: I’ve gotten VERY cantankerous about foot pain in my advancing years and refuse to wear a single pair of shoes that hurts my feet in any way. Like, not even for a wedding. I can’t do it. And yet, I am an undeniable clothing snob and require unmitigated chicness for all sartorial moments. I can honestly say that there has never been a more comfortable platform sandal—ever. I love being tall, I wear them with my extra long pants, I wear them with any skirt or dress to jhusj them up, and they’re this sort of 70s vibe that kind of always looks great.
Price: $328
* Gifted product
8. One of only 2 button-down shirts I wear even though I have 17 of them
What It Is: AYR The Deep End*
Why I Wear It: Yes. 17. I counted. THIS is the other one, but I do a little knot in the front and this one is the best for that. It’s so gorgeously roomy in the arms but it’s not so massive on the sides, so it’s also great for tucking. The Oxford cotton is nice and thick but I don’t sweat in it in the summer AND I don’t need to iron it which is good because I threw out my iron like 14 years ago.
Price: $145
* Gifted product
Audie Metcalf is the Editor-in-chief of The Candidly, and lives in LA with her family. You can find more of her articles here.
At The Candidly, we try a lot of stuff so you don’t have to. We only recommend things we truly love, and that we think you’ll love, too. All products are chosen independently by our creative team, and all details reflect the price and availability of products at the time of publication. If you buy something we link to, The Candidly may earn a commission.
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