These 7 Trendy Designer Pieces Are Utterly Hideous, Proving Money Doesn’t Buy Taste
And 7 untrendy pieces that are woooooorlds better.
Image from Gucci
by The Candidly Team
If anything good comes from dressing after 35, it’s that we now have a sane grip on when and where to spurge on clothes.
And while sometimes we’ll connect to some designer thing on a deep, artful level where it feels like an expression of our very selves, most of the time if we’re springing for something luxury, we really just want it to be 3 things.
Classically gorgeous
Wildly flattering
Uncompromisingly comfortable
And these 7 designer things that are trending right now just ain’t it.
They’re deeply impractical. Cartoonishly expensive. Pretty damn ugly.
And yet, we still soooooort of get the idea behind each one that would make them appealing if they weren’t so blatantly hideous. And for that reason, we included a sensible alternative for each one - not just sensible but in fact, some of our favorite, life-saving pieces that are better than their designer counterparts that cost over a grand. You heard us - better.
But let’s have you judge for yourselves.
1. The Incredibly Odd-Shaped Handbag
We are entirely done with stiff, stupid handbags that fail miserably on function. And look, we’re not saying we won’t invest in a beautiful bag. It’s one of like 6 things we will splurge on. But a short handle, a chain that digs into our shoulder, a shape that wouldn’t fit your wallet and phone and keys without bulging out into some deformed Play-doh version of itself. No. Just no. We can be practical and comfortable and carry all our chaotic mix of band-aids and lip balms and hand creams in one incredibly utilitarian, but still 100% gorgeous bag, and never feel an ounce of regret. Unlike we do over all the dumb designer stuff we’ve splurged on in our past.
What to Get Instead:
The Clare V. Moyen Messenger: When we say we want function, it doesn’t mean we’re giving up on having a style all our own that celebrates brilliantly made, beautiful things. This bag is currently among the most brilliantly made, beautiful things we won’t shut up about. It comes in woven and unwoven, black, tan, and a sea of colors that mysteriously end up in our cart every week, though we’ve been sensible enough to limit ourselves to just one (okay, maybe two). Even though it’s an investment and designer, we could buy 5 of them before we’d reach the cost of some logo-driven bag that’s half the size and half as good. Bold statement here, but if we could only buy one designer bag for the rest of our lives, it would be this one.
Price: $435 - $485
2. The Low-Rise Jeans That Flatter No
One
I think our memories of constricted hip bones, constant plumber’s butt, and belly spillover of the early 2000s really speak for themselves on this one.
What to Get Instead:
The Everlane The Way-High Sailor Jean: We recently discovered the single most comfortable jeans round our middles and hips and butts. Their shape flatters every shape of human, making any body type look longer and leaner. But most importantly, we just feel amazing in them; they’re basically the antidote to low-rise styles that are made exclusively for 6 ft, 00 models. But frankly, these jeans would look better on them, too.
Price: $128
3. The Furry Sweater That’s Making Us Actively Itch Just Looking At It
If we could sum up our thesis of this entire article in two words, it might be “do less.” A divinely cozy, luxurious, and lasting sweater is definitely something we’d spend on, but this Chewbacca thing will never not look like it came from the bargain bin at Target. Also, just because it leaves fuzz all over your house and car and black pants doesn’t mean it will feel good on your body.
What to Get Instead:
The Quince Mongolian Cashmere Boxy Crewneck Sweater: We do, naturally, want to live in the softest cashmere 72% of the year, which happens to be the exact percentage of time we run chilly. We’ve turned to Quince a million times over to achieve this life goal without spending all our money. This particular sweater has such a flattering, sliiightly boxy shape, which makes it a daily go-to that we pair with any of our jeans. It has a quiet way of making all our outfits look luxury. We also live in Quince’s oversized cashmere boyfriend cardi. Just sayin.’ They’re good.
Price: $80
4. The Denim Jacket That Looks Like It’s Been
Through A Paper Shredder
We wholeheartedly believe in the superpowers of a denim jacket, but only two versions have any place in our closet. This is not one of those versions. The little strings tickling our backs. Eeeeek.
What to Get Instead:
The Quince 100% Organic Cotton Denim Jacket: Here we are going on about Quince again. But $50 for a perfect, soft, organic cotton jean jacket that we will layer over every skirt and cropped pant and long trouser and midi dress we wear til the day we die? No brainer.
Price: $50
5. The Overly Embellished Flats
Say it with us: do less. Don’t get us wrong. We are all about a flat that singlehandedly elevates our entire outfit. It’s a pure joy to be able to wear something black and boring and just slip on a shoe on our way out the door and know we now look exciting and styled. But bedazzling a basic leather flat and charging $1200, knowing the whole world will reject this trend in a year? Just a waste all around.
What to Get Instead:
The Madewell Greta Ballet Flat: Maybe you’re not a metallic person, and that’s fine. This graceful little Mary Jane flat also comes in black and brown (and hey, there’s even a more toned-down rhinestone version), but silver can dress up and sub in for a heel on fancy occasions when we don’t want foot pain. It’s still timeless and classic, but it also amps up our outfits, turning them into looks instead of just clothes.
Price: $98
6. The “Loud Luxury” Coat That’s Making Too
Much Noise
Rosettes are a thing now, guys. And I think we can all agree that’s a trend we can promptly ignore without any cons. It’s just a little too loud luxury for our everyday lives (though we do like a little loud luxury now and again). However, a coat with a pattern or some texture can be a godsend, again on days you don’t have a lot of time but want to have more of a point of view in how you dress. There’s just better ones out there.
What to Get Instead:
Z Supply Knit Coat: Care for a peek behind the curtain? We all own this coat. In addition to falling in love with the plaid, because it matches all the black, white, beige, and gray clothes we wear daily, there’s a sapphire blue, a perfect cream, and of course, black and tan. It’s incredibly soft and knit but also weighted, so it’s the ideal transitional piece. We wear ours year round as a result.
Price: $199
7. The Dress That Takes The Bow Fad A Tad Too
Far
Full disclosure, we’re on board with the bow trend. Why exactly would bows ever go out of style? But let’s not ruin a good thing. A well-placed bow, be it subtle and minimalist or bold and over-scaled can stun, especially on a dress. But this is just too, too much.
What to Get Instead:
The Tuckernuck Blythe Dress: Dresses are hard. So we’re very sold on how easy this one is with its sleek and sophisticated shape and coveted belly coverage, but the bow in the back makes it all 27x more thrilling. It also comes in black, red, and white and sizes up to XXL. We appreciate that we can pull this dress from our closet for any date night or occasion even on days we’re feeling bloated and meh, add a pair of comfy heels, and poof, we’re chic!
Price: $198
At The Candidly, we try a lot of stuff so you don’t have to. We only recommend things we truly love, and that we think you’ll love, too. All products are chosen independently by our creative team, and all details reflect the price and availability of products at the time of publication. If you buy something we link to, The Candidly may earn a commission.
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