8 Ways To Dress Sexy But Not Like You’re Trying To Look Sexy
It’s a tightrope act. But once you have it down, it’s easy.
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by The Candidly Team
There are certainly things we’ve figured out since we hit 35. What clothes are absolutely worth the investment, for example. The exact flattering staples we need to handle getting dressed each morning. But how to dress “sexy?” That had long remained a bit of a mystery.
Dressing sexy is a balancing act. It’s a little like trying to dress younger without looking like we’re trying to be young. How do you dress sexier without it coming off over the top? Unnatural? Or un…chic?
Image: NBC
The answer is thankfully not to overcomplicate it. You don’t need a lot of lace and latex and confusing lingerie. You can actually use some really simple, elegant pieces to achieve your sexiest looks because:
It’s 99% about how the clothes fit you.
The pieces themselves incorporate chicness and sexiness rather than being an either/ or situation.
You can’t be sexy without feeling comfortable, so not a single thing will take you out of your comfort zone.
Ok, now that we have the criteria down, lets talk about the 8 things we use to dress sexy that are really easy and that really work.
1. The Off-Shoulder Cashmere Sweater
WHAT: Quince Mongolian Cashmere Boatneck Sweater*
What makes it “sexy:” Alright. So you’ve just seen us kick off an article about “sexiness” with a spacious sweater. You are starting to doubt us. You are thinking “surely I’ve come to the wrong place for advice.” But hear us out, because a loose-fitting cashmere boatneck, can become the most impactful thing in your closet. All it takes is a tiny tug off the shoulder - a spill if you will. Almost accidental seeming, and yet it’s the difference between looking like whatever and looking styled. Here’s what we mean:
* Gifted
See? You can be completely covered up head to toe apart from that one little slip off the shoulder, and poof, you’re done. Dramatic. Smoldering. Mysterious even.
Quince makes such beautiful, soft cashmere for a fraction of the price of most brands, and this boatneck has been a longtime favorite of ours. It comes in more colors than you’ll want to want, if you know what we mean.
Price: $80
2. The Tall Boots That Don’t Kill Your Feet
WHAT: Beek Crow Leather Boot*
What makes it “sexy:” We won’t do foot pain anymore. Any sexy stiletto you catch us wearing has probably been lab studied and Swiss engineered to prove an orthopedic level of comfort. Our solution to getting the lift and absolute leg-lengthening magic of a heel is therefore to turn to the sophisticated power of the tall boot.
Now, we have to tell you, these are hands down the best boots we’ve ever owned. If you live by the “invest once and wear forever” method, we cannot recommend these boots more. They’re soft, buttery, cushioned, a bit slouchy (so they work with all bottom lengths), and supportive to the point we can walk for miles without a second thought. They also come in a tan that matches everything* we wear in the fall:
* Gifted
Price: $302 (with sale!)
3. The Skimming Suede Skirt
WHAT: J.Crew Factory Sueded Pencil Midi Skirt*
What makes it “sexy:” Pencil skirts have that literary quality of concealed sexiness, like we’re about to unfasten a bun, throw off our readers, and suddenly be a bombshell. But the real star is the suede. Suede is just elevated, so when you add it to a skimming fit, there’s a wintery suggestion of sexiness. And it doesn’t even have to be real suede. It can be this perfect faux version from J.Crew Factory that fits like a glove.
* Gifted
Yes, these are the same boots we just crowed on about. They’re amazing with every length of skirt … which reminds us, if you’re open to wearing a shorter version, THIS suede mini skirt*, also from JCF, is incredibly chic and makes your legs look miles long. Add THESE* supposedly unrippable tights for colder days, and you’re a vision of autumnal allure.
* Gifted
Price: $69.50 for the midi, $59.50 for the mini
4. The Mesh (Instead Of Lace) Underthings
WHAT: EBY Sheer Bralette and Brief*
What makes it “sexy:” Underwear lines are not sexy. Neither is having pouches of flesh spill out over all angles of our bra. We’re not gonna suffer stupid, impractical lingerie. We need the comfy, seamless underthings we’ll actually wear. Enter mesh. This set has an impressive amount of hoist and smoothness, but there are no stabby wires, no digging straps, no slippage, no riding up. It’s just a blissful fitting wireless bra in a sheer (aka very sexy), supportive mesh. The pattern makes us think of lace but without the bumpy texture that looks bad under clothes. But there are also solid colors that are very pretty.
Price: $53 for the bralette, $23 for the brief
* Gifted
5. The Best Ever Butt Jeans
WHAT: Paige Marlow Skimmer Flare*
What makes it “sexy:” We’re not at the Daisy Duke stage of life. We just really, really want jeans that flatter our butts - butts that we don’t see but just walk around hoping look their peachiest and perkiest. The jeans that will achieve this are not $50 (though we do have a whole list of $50 jeans that are actually really great and a new brand we’re fully obsessed with* that fits like designer denim but costs a third of the price). But the ones that win the award for best butt, best on curves, best pocket placement, best slimming leg are THESE* flare jeans from Paige. Here they are, front and back, on a non-model person:
* Gifted
And here they are next to another pair of jeans. Keep in mind, this is the same butt - just different jeans:
They come in lots of washes and not all of them have those front pockets if that’s not your thing, so check them out. We also have a code for 15% off. Use CANDIDLY15.
Price: $249
6. The 90s Cami
WHAT: Abercrombie Bra-Free Lace 90s Cami*
What makes it “sexy:” A cami, whether showing under a sheer(ish) button-down or peeking out from a dipping tuxedo blazer, is a sort of emblem of sexiness, and yet, we hate (HATE!) the fact that we have to layer it over a bra, thereby creating a second set of straps that ruins the whole minimalist effect. We miss the built-in bra camis of the late 90s/ early 2000s. Every mall brand had one. Thankfully, Abercrombie has resurrected theirs. It’s smooth and supportive with pads you can keep or remove. So we’re stocking up before it disappears again.
Price: $27
7. The Dramatic Cowl Neck
WHAT: Nation Geni Cowl Top*
What makes it “sexy:” All that drapiness means you can actually be pretty covered up and still have the sense of drama that a low neckline can offer without it being too va va voom. We recently discovered that the brand Nation makes such interesting, distinct tops that are perfect for going out and feeling comfy at the same time (the dream). This one also has the ideal amount of arm coverage and is ultra-flattering on a thicker waist.
* Gifted
Price: $61
8. The Skin-Baring Cardigan
WHAT: Aritzia Wilfred Shelly Cardigan*
What makes it “sexy:” Here is yet another example of how something not typically considered sexy (a high-neck cardi with a scalloped trim) can become something highly impactful. Now, we might lose some of you here, but a fitted, buttoned sweater worn as a top allows you to create your very own, fully controlled peekaboo moment. Behold:
* Gifted
Because the sweater is fitted, you’re already showing some hourglassy shape. Next, it’s up to you to unbutton a few choice buttons to reveal a sliver of skin exactly where you want to. Not a fan of flashing too much chest, unbutton from the bottom. Never in a million years gonna show your tum, unbutton from the top. This sweater itself is so chic that whatever way you style it, you’ll always come off understated yet brimming with copious amounts of French lady allure.
Price: $98
At The Candidly, we try a lot of stuff so you don’t have to. We only recommend things we truly love, and that we think you’ll love, too. All products are chosen independently by our creative team, and all details reflect the price and availability of products at the time of publication. If you buy something we link to, The Candidly may earn a commission.
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