I Created My Perfect Summer Uniform And It Only Took Me 35 Years To Figure It Out
What I lack in urgency I make up for in boringness!
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by Audie Metcalf
I’m not going to drag this out. Your eyes do not deceive you. I am indeed writing an entire article about how I’ve spent a lifetime searching for the perfect outfit and it turns out that perfect outfit is … a t-shirt and jeans.
Anticlimactic? Or the most climactic? Let’s decide together.
I was out in the world the other day (a real rarity since I hate other people and I work from home) and I realized that everything I was wearing felt right. You know what I mean by feeling right? Nothing was too tight, nothing was itchy, I felt gorgeous, my feet never hurt, my boobs stayed in place, every time I glanced at myself in a mirror or storefront window I was like GOD I feel like myself, and, blessedly nothing ever had to be adjusted. And THAT is what makes this outfit soar past basic, and into some perimenopausal, utopian stratosphere.
Yes, it’s embarrassingly simple. Though I prefer the word classic, which is just an Ivy League-educated version of simple. But here’s why it’s spectacular:
THE T-SHIRT* is unbelievably good and oversized without being sloppy and is breathable but long enough to cover my fat arms so I don’t feel self conch.
THE HAT* is my go-to in the summer to actually protect my withering skin from the sun but also as an instant pop of style without having to do my hair which allows me to get out the door on a moment’s notice.
THE JEANS* are a new discovery because I follow THIS unspeakably stylish woman on TikTok and I am loathe to admit that I was influenced by her—this doesn’t happen to me often but her chicness was so all consuming for me that I had to, and now they’re the only jeans I wear for the summer because they’re immensely flattering and so lightweight and profoundly profoundly comfortable, and I’m very sorry for the price, but I also think you should pay it because truly perfect jeans are priceless in how they make you feel about yourself, and that’s enough equivocating.
THE SHOES* are a collab between Favorite Daughter and Dr. Scholl’s and are sadly almost all sold out, but THESE clogs* are even more comfy frankly. But don’t worry, I’ve discovered my favorite flat shoes* since this photo was taken, and they’ve replaced the clogs entirely because I am breathless about their comfort to style ratio. Stay with me.
THE ANKLE STACK* is my new “thing” I’m trying and most people hate it but a small percentage seem to die for it. Just how I like my ratios.
THE BRA* is my favorite bra in the world. The only bra I really can say I love. It gives lift, roundness, hoist, cleavage and bounce, all without wires. It’s so light it feels like nothing. There’s no other bra remotely like it.
So the reason I call this a uniform and not an outfit is because you just take the concept and you can jzhuzj it every which way. Here’s what I mean:
The jean jacket* add on, with the flats* I was telling you about!!!
The all-white ensemble that I know you’re afraid of except don’t be because I throw them all in the hot hot hot washing machine and then into the dryer, and it’s heavenly and easy:
And again with the jean jacket* that still works perfectly, and you’ll notice I swapped the hat though all the previous hat reasoning still applies:
Yes, that’s a bag from the brand we write about incessantly because it’s the best.
Here’s a slight tweak if it’s cold out:
And another tweak with this new AMAZING t-shirt that has a little bit more “interest” as they say, while still not showing my fat arms:
I think a GREAT addition to this uniform would be a black blazer for evening but as we’ve established, I don’t do anything and I don’t go anywhere.
If you see me in the world though, I will be wearing some variant on this outfit. And if by the time that happens you have read this article and are therefore also wearing some variant on this outfit, please say hi. We can laugh and laugh feel awkward about it together.
Audie Metcalf is the Editor-in-chief of The Candidly, and lives in LA with her family. You can find more of her articles here.
At The Candidly, we try a lot of stuff so you don’t have to. We only recommend things we truly love, and that we think you’ll love, too. All products are chosen independently by our creative team, and all details reflect the price and availability of products at the time of publication. If you buy something we link to, The Candidly may earn a commission.
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