11 Closet Essentials If You Want To Dress Sexy But Not, Like, Ridiculously So
Image from Marcella
by The Candidly Team
Sexy. Oof.
What does that word even mean when it comes to clothes?
Everyone has their own opinions and point of view (especially where it concerns how other people dress). But when it comes to ourselves, the concept of dressing sexy is a howling vortex of confusion.
This can be especially true that split second after we whiz pass 40, and the messaging starts to be either “Stop embarrassing yourself, cover up, and dress your age” or “Don’t let society tell you what you can and can’t wear. Work that hot pink tube skirt.”
We don’t really gel with either of these philosophies. What we do connect with are some very simple guidelines that allow us to enjoy our respective versions of looking sexy while still also looking chic. Basically, putting forward precisely what we want in ways that feel authentic to who we are.
So, here’s what dressing sexy means to us:
It isn’t about the clothes. It’s not fabrics. It’s not design. It’s how you put a look together, using balance to create an overall sense of sexiness.
Think about the “asset” you want to highlight and accentuate that. Then balance it out with everything else. Meaning if you’re going tight or low-cut on top, try something looser or less revealing on the bottom. And vice versa.
So. We know you want us to just do all the dirty work of finding the perfect sexy pieces and then tell you exactly how to wear them.
Welp. Fine. We did. And here’s what we came up with:
The Unbuttonable Button-Down
The beauty of a button-down is that it’s subtle and sophisticated, but the styling completely changes the game. Unbutton a few choice buttons or tie the bottom to make it a slight crop. Use it as a lightweight open-front layer over a fitted cami or buy it extra oversized to trot around the house, legs exposed à la Holly Golightly.
It just holds that off-handed hint at sexiness while being completely comfortable.
The Bennet Buttondown Shirt by Maeve
It’s just a shirt. With a material that’s definitely not overtly sexy. But when worn with a black bralette and unbuttoned, perhaps ONE deeper than you’d normally do, and still paired with jeans, the entire look becomes…something else.
Price: $98
2. The Lace Cami To Peek Out Under Everything
Above all things, a fitted cami is flattering. The low neckline and skinny straps look perfect on chests and arms of any size. The fitted bodice shapes and smooths, and the hint of lace gives mild lingerie vibes.
Layer it under a low-cut outer thing, such as the button-down mentioned above or a fitted blazer. Or wear it on its own, hair thrown into a messy bun and chambray shirt tied around your waist, and poof, you look sexy. It’s just how it goes.
Fleur't Iconic Lace Trim Camisole with Shelf Bra
The fit of this one is flawless, while the low lace band is perfect for peeking out. And the built in bra makes it even easier to throw on and go.
Price: $49
3. The SLInky Slip dress
In order to tap into any degree of sultriness, we have to first feel deeply comfortable. Slipping on a slinky, slip-like dress has the coze factor of slipping into bed. When done correctly, these dresses skim rather than squeeze or cling, creating a smooth, curvy silhouette. And a delicate spaghetti strap will always look gorgeous on arms.
Skims Soft Lounge Long Slip Dress
Don’t let the size 2 model fool you, this dress is made for ladies with ample bosoms and bottoms. It’s supportive and soft beyond reason like leisurewear. But with its wide, framing neckline and stunning length, it’s also an easy piece you can dress up. The minute we tried it on, we were inspired to write a tribute to this dress, in no small part because of its understated way of accentuating our curves. And yes, you can see the photos HERE.
Price: $78
Quince 100% Washable Silk Slip Dress
Easy and suggestive of a nightie, but it’s not so short or tight that you feel like you’re in straight-up lingerie. It’s sexy while still being chic and soooo versatile to style. Jean jacket and flips by day. Heels and a pashmina by night. We love the rich color selection of this one from Quince but for a better size range we also love J. Crew’s HERE.
Price: $80
4. The strappy shoes that don’t kill our feet
We completely get it if you’re a flats person. We’re having a bit of a love affair with flats ourselves right now. But we won’t deny that a strappy heel is probably the most powerful tool in our toolbox when the aim is to elongate. They lengthen our legs and lift things up round back, but they also have the bonus of making it easier to wear something loose and comfy up top.
So even with a sack of a dress or pair of jeans and a tee, they can be the fun little boost we need to feel sexy. The caveat, of course, is that they have to go above and beyond with comfort. Or we just won’t do it.
Sarah Flint Perfect Sandal 85
Before you get mad at us for the price tag, please know we wouldn’t dare mention a shoe in this category if it weren’t the literal best. The precision in quality, construction, and materials are simply unmatched with Sarah Flint. There is intelligence behind this shoe along with 6mm of extra foot padding and endless arch support. Plus, unlike our clothes, a shoe pretty much always fits the same, hence our willingness to invest.
Price: $396
5. The super skinny jeans
As far as we’re concerned, a good pair of skinny jeans is as glorious on legs as going bare, but with that added slim, smoothing effect. They match with everything - their skinny ankle works with every shoe. But for them to be truly excellent, they have to have stretch. They can’t bag or leave a dreaded waist gap. And they have to feel like literal leggings.
Good American Good Waist Skinny Jeans
Good American jeans are designed for curves. They have that sculpting balance between hold and stretch that makes a pair of jeans extra flattering. And they size up to 30 plus!
Price: $139
6. The soft and Skimming Midi Dress
Ok, just saying wear a tight dress to feel sexy feels very tired and dumb. But we’re not talking about the pile of bodycon dresses we need to suction ourselves into or wear 7 pairs of shapewear under just to feel mildly ok in. We’re talking about soft pieces with fabrics that make us feel “held in” but not restricted. Dresses that skim over curves, while creating a pretty silhouette and showing skin in the exact places we want.
Everlane Ribbed Tank Dress
The material doesn’t have to be slinky or sheer to be sexy when the shape is the star. And this dress achieves exactly that. It’s bodycon without being remotely skin tight, and it just magically highlights all your best features. You can see one of us modeling it HERE.
Pro tip: if you’re self conch about your butt or bell, throw on a sling bag, Fanny pack, or cropped button down around your waist, et voila! It almost completes it into being a full “outfit,” and you’ll feel more comfy.
Price: $78
Marcella Natalia Dress
Strapless can be wildly flattering on your arms and chest. We love that this dress pairs hold with stretch, so we feel like we can move and breath, while getting support.
Price: $115
7. The Fitted yet flexible moto jacket
A skinny moto jacket is possibly the most crucial piece of outwear when we don’t want to bury ourselves in bulky layers. It has that perfect cut that’s tailored to your shape, making it sexy without even showing a hint of skin. We like it looking leather-ish for Sandy from Grease vibes (along with every other “cool girl” icon in any movie in the past 5 decades).
Spanx Leather-Like Moto Jacket
The glorious flexibility is everything with this one. It’s made by a shapewear brand which at first made us skeptical, until we realized the endless, flattering possibilities. For a classic 100% leather jacket we love that’s only $150, go HERE.
Price: $198
8. The Only Sexy Tee
They seem like the simplest thing, but not all t-shirts are created equal. When it comes to a tee we can feel reaaaally good in, tiny details make a huge difference. But when those details align, a tee can suddenly become a blissfully carefree, sexy piece.
You may have guessed this, but the criteria is essentially: lightweight fabric, right-length sleeves, and dipping neckline. The color white is also quite close to a prerequisite.
Sézane Malcolm T-Shirt
This gorgeous, slightly v-neck tee from the French brand Sézane shows the correct amount of skin. The fabric is so soft and light, it feels like nothing. And not that we needed this to convince us, but it doesn’t hurt that we recently found out a light, lowish-cut tee is one of 9 things every chic, effortlessly sexy French woman has in her closet.
Price: $55
9. The Comfy Dress that shows some skin
Once again, we’re focusing on comfort, but frankly, at this point in our lives, if it’s not comfy, we’re not wearing it. Thankfully, there are many pieces out there that prove things don’t need to be tight or riding up our hips all night to be sexy.
Instead, we’re deeply drawn to dresses that have light or soft, breezy fabrics or not-too-fitted shapes, but that smartly offer us the option of showing selective spots of skin. It’s that balance we keep screaming about.
Sleeper Atlanta Linen Dress
Sometimes the star is simply…skin. So even though this dress is wildly comfortable and linen, the exposed shoulders and collarbones give it that little whiff of sexy. It also follows another juxtaposition we love to think about which is that of “sweetness.” The material and the shape are just so sweet so that there’s balance overall. This dress IS a showstopper though. If you’re not ready for incessant compliments, it isn’t for you.
Price: $224 - $320
Sézane Pippa Short Dress
There’s something so blissfully easy about this half-tee, half-wrap dress, once more from Sézane. It’s something we can throw on no matter how lazy/ schlumpy/ bloated we’re feeling, but the fit is so flattering we can’t help but feel extremely chic. And then there’s the length which makes our legs look 8 miles long.
Price: $150
10. The Only Nightie We Love
Did we make this up or did every chic mom in the 70s and 80s wear a not-too-short, spaghetti strap nightie that made them suddenly look like they wandered off a Hollywood film set? We’ve gone a lot of wild ways with nighties over the years, but it’s this look that makes us feel our sexiest. They’re slinky, strappy, and low-cut, but we don’t have to worry about popping out of the top or bottom like we do with the teddies of today.
Lunya Washable Silk Slip Dress
This gorgeous washable silk nightie from Lunya is perfection. It’s smooth with a lowish neckline, long enough but with smartly placed slits. The back is breathtaking. You must see.
Price: $198
11. The Lacy Shapewear
You’ve heard us mention a bit of lace peeking out like 25 times already, but this is the piece that makes it all, not only possible, but easy. A bodysuit that offers actual support is so functional but much, much prettier than our typical shapewear. It’s an essential underthing but can work on its own when we’re in the mood for lingerie. Which you should be. Here’s why.
Pinsy Sculpting Lace Shapewear Bodysuit
So pretty but with endless breathable support.
Price: $98
At The Candidly, we try a lot of stuff so you don’t have to. We only recommend things we truly love, and that we think you’ll love, too. All products are chosen independently by our creative team, and all details reflect the price and availability of products at the time of publication. If you buy something we link to, The Candidly may earn a commission.
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