Your Phone Is Ruining Your Life. Do This Instead.

Sorry to be so harsh, but we both know it’s true.

Image: Netflix

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by Audie Metcalf

We had a post go viral recently. It was this:

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Oh, how deliciously smug we feel about how the world needs to “do better” and read books instead of carrying on as the slobbering, social media-addicted automatons we all are, parroting idiotic ideas that some influencer disguised as a “therapist” or “coach” espouses to trick us into thinking she’s going to improve our lives in some unique and profound way, when in fact, all that’s really happening is we’re getting tech neck while watching some mind-numbing stranger, half-believing this parasocial relationship is meaningful while we’re right next to our real friends in real life watching the Oscars and getting pedicures and having game nights, heads in our phones ignoring each other, slurping up algorithm-friendly, cliché ways to eat more protein yogurt bowls and lift lighter weights for Pilates arms, not realizing that all we’re doing is scrolling, scrolling, scrolling more, more, more so those “coaches” can pay for their Range Rovers and Meta can keep pretending they’re NOT using addictive models in their designs that keep us disconnected from everything real and true and good and here we are with more information than ever about how to be better and smarter and healthier and happier and more moral and yet most of us have never felt more empty and alone and terrified in our entire lives.

This is not a bug. It is a feature. 

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All we really have in this world, is our beautiful and singular mind. The mind that is full of only our experiences which then form our outlook and our opinions and our ideas. And our beautiful and singular minds are being utterly and brazenly commodified by a fucking screen that we hold in our hand that we have in our bag that we have in our pocket that we know the location of 24 hours a day and cannot function without. Our real opinions are not our reactions to the 38th horrifying headline assault from Apple News, or our dismay at the brain-dead arguments in the comment section on the latest Atlantic article that attempts to thread the needle about some third-rail idea. No. We have another choice. And that choice is to remember that without our anger and outrage and addiction, the internet would cease to exist. We are the pawn that allows the game to function. 

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And so … what do we do? 

We read books. 

Reading books allows us to engage with the present moment, something most of us are rarely able to do anymore. Not an article. Not a podcast. Not a post. Not a meme. A book. 

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Do I recognize the irony of telling you to read books on the very medium I’m telling you to stay away from? But of course! Life is full of contradictions! Maybe even buy a real, physical, book, not an audiobook or a digital download, just to really lean into the analogue quality of things. When people used to climb into bed after a long day, they would open a book and they would … read it. Reading sets our curiosity on fire, encourages our imagination to bloom, asks us to consider or even embody different perspectives, and it requires a singular focus that has fallen out of fashion. Reading allows a kind of romance between the writer, the words, and the reader—a secret triad that can’t exist anywhere else. 

We consider new ideas, in the silence. 

In short, reading books makes all of us smarter, more interesting, more tolerant, more curious, and more collaborative and cooperative citizens of our family, our neighborhood, our city, our country, our world. Not to, you know, overstate it or anything. 

And so, as a little gift for making it through my screed, I’ve compiled a few of my favorite books in some real-life categories that may speak to you.

We’ve never written about books before. Maybe we should keep going?

Smartly Written Women In Complex Or Interesting Scenarios:

• My Brilliant Friend*

• Lost in The Forest*

• Prep*

• American Wife*

• Sisterland*

• The Glass Castle*

Romance, Some Silly, Some Elegant:

• Heated Rivalry*

• Eligible*

• Pride And Prejudice*

• Call Me By Your Name*

• Atonement*

• Written On The Body*

• Love in the Time of Cholera*

• The Paris Wife*

Excellent Short Stories:

• Birds of America*

• Holidays on Ice*

• What We Talk About When We Talk About Love*

• Six Fairy Tales with Hockney*

Real Literature That’s Deeply Engaging:

• Girlfriend In A Coma*

• All Families Are Psychotic*

• The Color Purple*

• Lolita*

• Beloved *

• A Little Life*

• The Correspondent*

• The Human Stain*

• The Corrections*

Canon Classics That Aren’t Boring:

• The Rabbit Series*

• Rebecca*

• Tender Is The Night*

• The Importance Of Being Earnest*

• Franney And Zooey*

Murders And Mysteries And Page Turners:

• The Adventure  Of The Speckled Band*

• Kay Scarpetta Series*

• Alphabet Series*

• Dublin Murder Squad Series*

• The Lakehouse*

Self-Betterment And Perspective Shifts:

• Don’t Believe Everything You Think*

• Living As A Bird* 

• In Defense Of Food*

• Empire Of Orgasm*

• When To Rob A Bank*

• Good Morning Monster*

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AUDIE METCALF

Audie Metcalf is the Editor-in-chief of The Candidly, and lives in LA with her family. You can find more of her articles here.

At The Candidly, we try a lot of stuff so you don’t have to. We only recommend things we truly love, and that we think you’ll love, too. All products are chosen independently by our creative team, and all details reflect the price and availability of products at the time of publication. If you buy something we link to, The Candidly may earn a commission.
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