You Need This To Have Great Sex After 40. Here's How To Get It.
A 6-step guide.
by The Candidly Team
It isn’t a product or contraption. Although if you were hoping it was, go HERE.
What it is is something inside us. Something that, like everything inside us tends to get worse with age. But it’s also something that we can indeed do something about. We won’t tease this out any longer. Here’s what the something is:
It’s blood flow.
Lower estrogen means less blood flowing to the pelvis which means less physical sensation which means less motivation to have sex. “Orgasms rely on a precise combination of blood flow, nerve signaling, pelvic floor coordination, and responsive tissue,” wrote Dr. Mary Claire Haver. “As estrogen begins to decline, blood flow to the clitoris, vulva, and vagina diminishes.”
Does that mean this is all inevitable and therefore irreversible? Nope!
We can do things to increase our blood flow and keep sex pleasurable. So let’s get straight to that:
1. Keep everything else moving.
We realize it would be far more interesting for us to tell you some witchy trick like spiking watermelon juice with chili peppers, but just like every other aspect of life, exercise can make sex better. Aerobic exercise like brisk walking, swimming, and cycling helps keep up your circulation, and these improvements in blood flow along with heart and blood vessel function enhances physical sensation.
2. Figure out your pelvic floor.
The weakening of pelvic floor muscles can lessen pleasure in women and make sensation less intense. This again can happen during perimenopause and menopause, because less estrogen equates to less elasticity and blood flow.
That said, your pelvic floor muscles can also be too tight, which can make sex uncomfortable or even painful.
Pelvic floor physical therapists - yes, they exist - can help you identify and take steps to improve either condition. Sure, that may mean Kegels but it may also mean techniques to relax. But once you identify the issue, you can learn techniques to get things flowing again.
3. Eat less of these 3 things.
You know the usual suspects: processed foods, excess salt, and sugar. Salty foods can raise your blood pressure, while refined carbs, simple sugars, and saturated and trans fat can wreak havoc on your blood flow, slowing things down when we need them pumping.
4. Add these foods to your plate.
It’s always more fun to be told to eat more of something than less. One of the reasons food-based “aphrodisiacs” are believed to be effective is because they’re thought to increase blood flow. Here are some actual foods that can improve blood flow and lower inflammation which can also be an arousal killer:
Leafy greens
Fatty fish
Beets
Tomatoes
Onions
Citrus fruits
Berries and pomegranates
Ginger
Garlic
Cinnamon
5. Don’t smoke and limit alcohol.
Consistent or heavy drinking damages circulation over time, while smoking narrows our blood vessels.
6. We’re not telling you to “just relax,” but treat your stress like the orgasm-killer it is.
Stress feels like something that only exists in the confines of our heads, but it truly does all the bad things it can to our bodies, and diminishing sexual arousal is one of them. We’ve written about powerful psychological tools to fight anxiety, mindless ways to reduce stress, ad under-one minute techniques to relax. We know it’s all easier said than done, but doing the things to reduce our stress has many rewards. And far, far better sex is one of them.
This article is for informational purposes only. It is not intended to be used in place of professional advice, medical treatment, or professional care in any way. This article is not intended to be and should not be a substitute for professional care, advice or treatment. Please consult with your physician or healthcare provider before changing any health regimen. This article is not intended to diagnose, treat, or prevent disease of any kind. Read our Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy.
